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“Because I’m playing for keeps, this time around I’m in too deep to think about falling down and giving up again. I want to live each day just like it was my last chance to prove that your all I have…” (Jonah 33) This is a line from one of my favorite songs. I think this would really describe how I have been feeling recently. So I know that in my last post I said that I was confused about if Egypt is going to be a long-term home for me or not. As of right now I am still on the fence. I have been praying about with some of my friends and we will see what happens. That being said I am at complete peace with whatever happens. I am really trying to rely on the scripture that says “Dont worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself”. I know that is probably not the best way to plan for the future but for me it feels the most comfortable.

I would like to talk about what I have been doing for the past couple of days. My day consists of waking up getting ready and leaving early in the morning and heading out to different sections of Cairo. Jeremy and I head to the different schools and talk to the headmasters and the students just to make sure that everything is going well. It has been really amazing to listen to the students process through things. I would have to say that I am completely stoked about the team that is here in Cairo this year. They are a bunch of rock stars. Everyone is super engaged which is awesome. After our gallivanting around the city we come back to the office where we are staying. There are about 10 students who live or teach in the same part of the city. So on most days some or all of the people end up at the office to hang out, chill, or sleep before they have to go back to teach night classes. At this point it is finally becoming evening. This is my favorite part of the day. At about 9-10 p.m. is when Cairo really starts picking up. There is a hookah bar about a block way from our house. (Hookah is amazing btw. I had it for the first time the other day. It is really pleasant like a nice cigar. That being said I probably wont have it again for a long time. The smell stays on your clothes and the more my clothes stink the more times I have to do laundry.) Sorry for the rabbit trail… I live in a part of the city where there is a huge Sudanese population. So every night a huge crowd of Sudanese people come out to play chess and dominoes. So I generally hang out till between 12-1 playing chess with my Sudanese friends. It is glorious. Shameless plug… Chess is beautiful. It is not just pushing pieces around it is like art. I feel like I can express myself in a very pure and complete manner when there is a board in front of me. When I play chess my brain processes through everything else that I am going through. So I sit down build community, rain down carnage, and truly think clearly. I walk away from the board at the end of the night and feel fully refreshed. It is funny to think of chess as a gift from God. Most people just look at it as an entertaining game. I find that it is a great way to center my mind and focus on Jesus. It has been truly a blessing to sit and play with my new friends…

The past week I have really been growing closer to God. I still don’t know if I am supposed to be here long-term or not. I know that God will let me know when it is important for me to know. Till that time I’m just going to hang out seek the Jesus and play some chess. So I guess what I am trying to say is, if you don’t play chess maybe you should pick it up you never know what Jesus might have for you…


Greetings Friends,

I thought that I would send an update from Egypt and let you all know what is going on. As most of you know I am directing the trip that I have been on twice. I am here with about 20 or so college age people as we work in Sudanese Schools. We spent a week in Mexico city training for the cross cultural realities that will take place this summer. So here are some of my thoughts from the other day.

As I sit here on the metro covered in sweat and completely exhausted from a long hard day of trekking through Cairo, I cant help but really appreciate the beauty of the situation. I have a million details running through my mind. Most of them are where are people going to stay, will everyone be placed in a school, how will certain people react to this summer, was there more that I could have done in the setup trip, and on and on and on. As I continue to think about these things I am reminded that here I am once again in a foreign country getting ready to see what God has for me.

I want to invite everyone into the process that I have been going through lately. 6 months ago I thought that I felt called to move to Egypt for an extended period of time. As soon as I arrived I have started questioning that decision. I am not sure of what I am supposed to do. It feels like I am presented with 2 options. I can either still move to Egypt like I planned and hope that I had heard God correctly or I could move back to the states and see if God leads me somewhere else. My heart is in Kenya and I think about it everyday. I have often wondered why God would call me to Egypt and not back to Kenya. That being said I am certain that the timing is not quite right to go back to Kenya. I feel like God is not saying dont go back but just wait a little while longer. That being said I feel completely confused about what I should do in the future. I also feel like I need to make this decision within the next couple of weeks. If I wait to make the decision to when I get back to the states my mind will be clouded with culture shock. I dont generally reenter America very well so I assume that I would not respond well. That being said if I did move back to the states what would I do? I am torn… So I guess Im asking that people pray for me and if they think they hear something from God for me in the next week to let me know. I want to make sure that I am being faithful. Be blessed….


Greetings Friends,

     The past month has been really amazing.  In my last post I talked a lot about what God has been doing for the last year.  So I will assume that everyone is caught up on my life and I would love to share what has been going on the last couple of weeks.  I don’t have any witty stories or jokes today…  So if anyone has any suggestions I’m open to modifying this with a good joke…  If not just think of the funniest joke you have heard and imagine that I just said that. 

     So it is no secret that I have the heart of a nomad.  In my life time I have moved over 50 times maybe even 60.  I have lived in 3 countries, 5 different states, and untold number of addresses.  My address changes so often that I have to check my credit cards to see what address they have on file because I have no idea.  The longest I have lived at one address since I was 16 is 3 years.  Since I turned 16 I have been homeless but I always had a place to stay.  I never slept on the street but there were a lot of times where I had considered it.  There are numerous theories on why I am so mobile.  My favorite is that I am in the witness protection program or I am running from the law.  I’m obviously not in the witness protection program because I would have just blown my cover.  As to me running from the law.. Hmmm… Look over there shiny…  Another theory is that I am searching for something.  I would like to say that I am not searching for anything.  I am not running from place to place because I think the grass will be greener on the other side of the fence.  To be honest I think for long time I may have been searching for a place that I can call home.  A place that is mine and where I am welcome.  I have had a very strong paradigm shift in the past few years.  That this feeling that drives me inside to feel unsettled is actually from God.  I think that God has been trying to teach me that this Earth is not my home.  That this is a resting point but not the place that I will really feel rest.  I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine the other night.  We talked a lot about this very issue.  We came upon a very profound truth.  That while we both are nomadic and we recognize that this is not our home.  We strive to make this place home.  If all of our attention is focused on after this life why do we spend so much time focused on the current location.  The passage where Jesus talks about not being able to serve 2 masters came to mind.  So I ask myself and everyone else what master are we serving?  Are we serving the local master or the Heavenly master? 

    So I feel like that is really where I am spiritually and emotionally.  The past 4 weeks I have been either out of the country or I have been staying at a friend of mine’s house.  I decided to take a month off from work and just rest and relax.  This is very hard for a workaholic like myself.  I have had a job since I was 9 years old.  I belive in the process of work and I enjoy it.  I take great joy and pleasure from working 60 hours a week just because.   I have never really embraced the art of rest.  I used to keep myself at a pace that would only allow me to sleep 4-5 hours a day.  I thought that this was perfect and anything more than that was unneccessary and superfluous. I have spent the last 2 weeks doing almost nothing. I get up I hang out all day till my friend comes home after work. I have been spending time with Jesus everyday. My soul is becoming refreshed. I’m not nearly as bitter or jaded as I was. Yeah I would love to have a job where I could go to everyday and work myself to death. But this is so much better. I don’t think that I can do this forever and I think that the month will be about the right amount of time. I’m 2 weeks in and I’m starting to get a little stir crazy. In Genesis God talks about how he created the Sabbath. In all of Hebrew law it talks about the Sabbath and even the year of jubilee. Jesus himself says that man was not made for the sabbath but the sabbath was made for man. I can now see beneficial it truly is. Before I never embraced the goodness that is inherent in rest. God really knew what he was doing when he created us. He also was really on point with his suggestions. It always surprises me that when I actually start practicing what Jesus said life is just better. So who knew that rest was good? Apparently the Jesus. My soul is refreshed and I feel closer to God.

Well friends allow me to sign off. I will post again in a few weeks right before I get ready to head to Egypt. I ask that you pray for me and my team as we continue to prepare. I urge everyone to really search and find their home and place in Jesus. I also recommend some good old-fashioned rest. It is not only good for the body it is good for the soul. Be blessed…


Greetings all….

         Sorry it has been a really long time.  I have been waiting till I thought that I had something to write about.  Something inspiring, something important, something worthwhile, or something that didnt make me feel like a hypocrite.  How can I write about the Greatness of God, when Im not always sure what that looks like. 

        So before I really start I want to say what I have been up to lately.  I have moved around a little bit since August.  I have lived with family and with friends.  I have had jobs that I loved and jobs that I despised.  In the grand scheme of things none of this is important.  In 10 years no one is going to ask how many different places did you live in?  How many times did you work for corporations that you dont believe in?  What I hope people ask is why do you believe in your God?  When people ask I hope that my answer is the same as it is today.  I have no choice but to not only acknowledge God but to serve him with everything that I am because of everything he has done for me and that I have seen. 

     For about 6 months I lived with one of my best friend’s and his family.  It was truly beautiful.  I saw 2 aspects of love that were only theoretical for me.  The first was between he and his wife.  He and his wife aren’t perfect by any means.  (They would be the first person to say that)  Yet it is evident how much he loves his wife and how much she loves him.  Everyday I would sit and watch interactions that were of no value and almost not worth mentioning except that I was able to appreciate the depth of their relationship.  The second were his kids.  He has a now 6-year-old girl and now 4-year-old boy.  They both would express love in such really beautiful and simple ways.  If I was sitting down reading or playing on my laptop the boy would decide that meant that I needed to be climbed.  The girl would come and sit next to me for no other reason than to be close and to take part in whatever I was doing.  Both of these small acts were beautiful pictures of just being present.  Very pure and simple.  I just want to spend time with you and be noticed by you.  Which pulls me back to Jesus.  It was interactions like these that helped me to really start to understand why God uses a wedding as a picture of his love for us.  I have believed for many years that love is a choice and now I have seen it in practice.  Something that you willingly go into and embrace.  It is something active and dynamic.  It is not something that will thrive if you just let it sit without nurturing it.  Yet if you give it room to grow and you foster it, it grows into something much bigger than it was when it started.  I am starting to get a really good picture of what Paul means when he writes, “Love is patient, Love is kind, Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)  Saying that I appreciate what Paul wrote does not mean that I am perfect either.  (If anyone questions how perfect I am let me know and I will get you in touch with my sisters.  They should be able to squash that misconception in about 30 seconds)  So I want to finish this section with a question.  It is really easy to say that this is the way that God loves us.  But how do we love God?  Do we look at God and question why he has blessed someone else?  Do we hold God accountable for hurt in our lives?  For not giving us the life that we think we deserve?  Or are we embracing God with everything and trusting that what he has is good?  Love always hopes, trusts, and perseveres. 

      So that is some of the past lets now discuss some of the future.  I have been preparing to go back into ministry.  When I came back from Kenya I felt like I had failed.  Like I was somehow not good enough to be the missionary that I was called to be.  I felt like a fraud.  I questioned everything I believed.  How can I be a missionary if I am starting to have very serious doubts.  I contemplated many options.  All of them were running from God’s work in chase of “my work”.  I want a legacy.  I want honor and I want prestige.  I want everyone to recognize all of my greatness.  I was chasing after something that is not only fleeting, but unobtainable.  When we seek to promote ourselves we perform an epic fail.  When we promote God with the hope of promoting ourselves we perform an even more tragic epic fail.  When we step out-of-the-way and let God promote his own greatness with truly humble hearts, something beautiful takes place.  It is so much better than anything we could have hoped for.  About 5 months ago.  I was getting ready to sleep.  I saw my self in a place that was uncomfortable.  I saw myself doing work that was hard.  I saw myself changing my dream from going back to Kenya to going somewhere else first.  To spending time in a place that goes against my core beliefs with the hope of being Jesus to people who may not have the opportunity to see him elsewhere.  I thought that this was crazy.  Why would God use me a broken and jaded individual?  The more that I prayed about it and talked to people the more real it became.  everything started falling into place without me doing anything.  When I questioned God all he said was “Am I not enough?”  Yeah but God you dont understand… Thats not where I want to be, that’s not what I want to do.  “Am I not enough?”  Ok, but Im going to need some serious help.  I went there last week.  To kind of set some stuff up for this summer.  My first day there I had a horribly evil dream.  Clearly not of God.  There was some writing in a language that I didnt understand.  In my head I knew what the word meant.  So I went to google translate and typed the word in english.  Sure enough it popped the word from my dream.  A couple of days later I got really sick.  I had a fever, chills, a migraine, I wanted to throw up, and I couldnt eat.  (Me not eating should show how serious it was)  My friend and I prayed and I was better instantly.  I was immediately reminded of the sovereigness of God.  God is everywhere even in the places that we dont expect him to be.  If he can protect me and heal me he obviously has my back and is telling me to go.  At this point I would be stupid to try to argue God out of it again.  If  Im not careful he may send a whale to give me some time to think about questioning God again.  So what does this mean?  I think it means that God can redeem anyone.  Even those broken and tired of doing what they think they should do.  Those who are weary and tired of fighting its much easier to go with God than against God. 

    I feel like I should say something to conclude this.  So I will try and tie it all together.  First I think that we should all examine our lives and see if we are actively loving God the way he actively loves us.  Second…  Well I think the second is surpassed by the first.  If we love God with everything that we are, we wont be afraid to go where he tells us to go.  Without that love though we will be running in the wrong direction.  I feel like this is really intense and I want to leave this on a little lighter note.  I am in Mexico as I type this.  I just want to give everyone a little advice.  Although the green salsa is amazing and delicious, and you just want to have more and more.  Moderation is key….  Trust me you will thank me later…  Be blessed…


     So I have been trying to think about what to write for several weeks. I feel like I should post something for several reasons. 1. I would love to share about my experience. 2. People have been asking me and Im not really sure how to respond. 3. Im an extrovert and I dont process my emotions till I share them. So I hope you all enjoy this process.

     So before I go into the hardcore processing I want to talk about some things that I saw in Egypt. I am always amazed by the process of sitting that takes place in Egypt and other African countries. What I mean by sitting is the willingness to just sit and be with someone. Here in the states we are overwhelmed by the business. I can never just sit and have a conversation with someone. There has to be some point. Ok lets go out for coffee. Or why dont you come over and play video games. The process of sitting and just being present is a very beautiful picture of how God interacts with us. God is always willing to just sit and be present with us. He doesnt need an excuse for fellowship. We are the ones that create the excuses. God Im going to be present this weekend at the conference but right now I have to work. God I have a million things to do so I will pray while Im washing my dishes, balancing my checkbook, checking my facebook, and watching the news. Wow that was a great time thanks Jesus. We as Americans have should desire the art of just sitting and being present and building community.

     Some other things that I saw in Egypt were some miracles. I saw people getting healed, I saw demons get cast out, I saw hearts that were changed, and I saw people become restored. Had I seen just one of these amazing things that would have been an incredible testimony. I was reminded quite often of the greatness of God. I was also clearly reminded of his goodness and fullness. He wants his people to be restored and full healing to take place. I know that some people are going to argue with me on this point. That God may not want healing to take place otherwise it would. My thoughts on this are that God wants us all to live a full life. This is not the prosperity gospel saying that everyone is entitled to rivers of Gold and if they dont have it they dont have faith. (I disagree with this a great deal and will gladly debate this with anyone) What I am saying is that God is good and God is love, that being said he wants the best for us. When we were in our debrief in Mexico City they started talking about unforgiveness. They said unforgiveness is like a splinter in your heart. It festers and causes damage. Your heart will still be able to function but having the splinter in there is limiting its effectiveness. So as I searched my heart I saw all sorts of splinters that were just below the surface festering. As I prayed that God would remove those all sorts of bitterness and anger left me. It was the grossness that I was holding in the attempt to protect my heart. This is the kind of healing that I think Jesus wants for everyone. I think that God wants us all to have pure hearts. Hearts filled with love and not anger and strife.

     So this was Cairo and Mexico City. What happens after that? Well experts say that when people leave their culture they experience culture shock. They also say that when you return you are faced with reverse culture shock. I will just say that so far I have not reentered well. Both times I have returned from overseas it has been UGLY!!! So when I reentered this time this what happened. I had 1 job that was doing technical support for Netflix. Netflix itself is just a normal corporation. Pretty decent. They pay well and treat their employees pretty well. (for the most part) I came back and freaked out that I was supporting an organization that did nothing but worry about whether people were entertained. I had a conversation with my boss where she said it seemed like I didnt care and that it was normal when returning to the real world. I started to explain that the real world was outside not in this happy little bubble that she lived in. I got frustrated with her that she didnt understand and I walked in and quit the next morning. My second job was at Best Buy. I was a digital camera salesperson. Promoting peoples greed and desire for wealth is sickening. Selling people stuff they dont need just because it is nice and shiny is not something that I believed in either. Needless to say within a week I had decided to end my employment with both places. I also left my home city to move back in with my family with the hope of spending some time with them before I leave again. I hope that everyone can see the Jesus that I see. I also pray that this be encouraging to some. If you think anything in this is good that is from Jesus. If you think it is junk that is from me and I will take ownership of that. Peace and blessings to all.



      I would first like to start this by saying saying thank you.  I have been amazed at the overwhelming support from my family and friends.  I have decided to come home to the states for a short while.  This was after much thought and careful deliberation.  I think that I am going to be in the states for about a year.  I will be in Idaho with my family over Christmas and than I will head back to Portland to work for a year.  This will help me save money so that when I go back I can be involved in a lot more ministry than I was.  I actually want to move out to the slums and start some projects that I have been thinking about.

     Let me tell you about the longest day ever.  There was a Canadian on campus as well.  I am pretty sure that I have mentioned her before.  Her name is D.  D was flying home to Canada for the holidays and then going back to school in January.  We arranged for our flights to be the same to Heathrow.  We got to the airport and there was some problems.  Our flight was originally scheduled for Tuesday night at 11:30 p.m.  When we arrived we were informed that there were some slight delays and that we would not leave till 12:30 a.m. Wednesday.  I of course had everything that I owned in my 2 little suitcases.  I was informed that 1 of them was too heavy.  D and I proceeded to unpack and repack my suitcases 3 times.  In the repacking process D had the brilliant idea to put my rubik’s cubes in her bag “just for ease of packing”.  (The Deception begins)  We eventually make it through the airport and get ready to board.  We left right around 12:30 and had an 8 hour flight and arrived at 6:30 a.m.  in London.  My flight out of London was at 10:30 a.m.  D and  I hung out for a while had breakfast and than parted ways.  This whole time D is cleverly holding on to the rubiks cubes of destiny.  In the guise of being a good friend of course.  As we part ways I go through my security check points and she goes through hers.  Which happen to be in opposite directions.  After I am past the point of no return I realized the great theft that took place.  I had airport security page D.  When I got a hold of D she said that there was no way to bring the cubes to where I was.  (My flight was leaving first.)  She informed me that she would mail the cubes to my domicile.  Yet everyone knows this was just a clever way of saying she was going to ransom my cubes, and if I ever wanted to see my cubes again I would have to pay for them.  These kinds of senseless acts of cruelty are just unfathomable.  I resigned myself to the fact that I may never see my cubes again.  (lets have a moment of silence)  Now on to something  completely different.  I left London around 10:30 a.m.  I had an 11 hour flight and arrived in LA at around 1:15 p.m.  (this math is confusing for me too)  I got off the plane and started waiting for my luggage.  My flight to boise was at 3:30.  My luggage finally comes at 1:45.  I hop in the line for customs and am starting to get nervous.  As I get to customs there is no big deal.  I am about to walk through and this guy who was standing back behind the customs guy calls me over.  He was like would you mind talking to me for a second.  I thought about it saw the gun on his side and decided it was a really good idea.  This guy proceeded to question me for 15 minutes about what I had done in Egypt.  Why I was there.  Could I prove I was a student in Kenya.  Apparently I looked shady.  He eventually lets me go.  I get in another line and recheck my bags.  At this point it is almost 2:30.  I have to head to the opposite side of LAX to catch my flight.  I arrive at 2:50 they almost dont let me get my boarding pass because they said I was to late to check in.  After I plead and beg for a minute they let me through.  I get to security and I have been “randomly” selected for special screening.  This means that I get patted down and searched.  Checked for bombs.  All the fun stuff.  I arrive at my gate at 3:15 and we were boarded and taxing by 3:30.  I had a 1 1/2 hour flight to boise and arrived at 6:15 p.m.  The rest of the night proceeded pretty normal.  You know greet the family.  Have Wendy’s and think that its Ecstasy.  You know the usual stuff. 

     I again would like to thank everyone who made this last year and half possible.  It has been a real life changing experience.  To those who have been supporting me financially.  May God richly bless you.  If you are still interested in supporting me I think that the church will be willing to keep taking in funds and just storing them.  This is not a must.  This is just an option.  If would like to stop sending money and start again as soon as I head back that is also perfectly fine.  I had asked the church for a list of people who had supported me while I was over seas, and unfortunately I was not able to acquire  one.  So I will not be able to thank everyone individually because to be honest I dont know who all is supporting me.  I know that God is an amazing God and I was always taken care of.  So if you have been supporting me I thank you again and I would love to contact you personally.  Please email me with at least your name so I can make sure that I thank everyone who has made this possible.  kevinness@yahoo.com  If you email I am pretty good about responding, but give me a little bit of grace.  Thanks again.  I think I will probably still post here about what I am doing in Portland and such.  That way this page stays active for when I head back.  Be blessed and Merry Christmas.


Good day to those that read my rants and such. I would again like to apologize for the long delay since my last post. I try to post at least once a month and it has been about 6 weeks. I have no excuses except the Internet was down on campus for 3 and 1/2 weeks so please give me grace.

So my life has been pretty chill. I am getting ready for my exams in 3 weeks. Most should be pretty easy but I am not going to lie my Stats exam might kill me. So if all of the sudden I quit posting or I post funny mumbo jumbo like L= fx-cf/f *i * the square root of nonsense = the right answer or so I have been told. You will know that I either died or went completely insane. Which isn’t a far step for me anyways. Other than that I have been alright.

Let me talk about a phenomenon that warps my fragile little mind. (let me talk as if there was a choice. I make myself laugh) OBAMA!!! I am not going to take a side on the political argument so don’t think that all of the sudden I have gotten political because honestly I don’t care enough to worry about such details. That being said I am sure that most have you have heard that Obama’s father was from Kenya. Most of us don’t think that is that big of a deal. Here it makes Obama almost as popular as Jesus. People who are from the same tribe as Obama are now claiming to be relatives and everyone is certain that all Kenyans will be allowed to come to America and that Obama will personally support and take care of. I am not making this up. The week before the election the town that Obama’s father came from closed down for a week to prepare for the celebration. There were students on campus who said they would riot if Obama lost. If Obama lost the only conceivable reason why he lost is that all white people are racist. It would have nothing to do with the fact that people were interested in different politics. So needless to say it was kind of frustrating everyday to hear how about the election.

The morning that it was announced that Obama won I had 7 phone calls between 8-8:30 in the morning telling me won and asking how excited I was. All of these people were less than impressed with my response that this information could easily wait till after 12. So Wednesday was when it was announced that he won. Thursday was declared a public holiday. Most businesses closed, schools closed, everything in honor of Obama. Nigeria declared 5 days of public holidays, Uganda declared 2 days of public holidays, there were numerous other African countries that declared 1 or 2 days to honor Obama. The saddest thing is that people actually believe that having Obama as president is going to personally benefit them. The newspapers were printing now that Obama is going to be president how much Kenya would benefit from the US. When I try to explain that this is crazy people get pissed. It is really awkward hearing peoples hopes and dreams that to me don’t make any sense to me. I have tried explaining that Obama will be president of the US and that he has a lot to worry about. The economy is not doing well, we are still at war, and we are the most powerful country on the planet. Yet everyone wants to believe that now that Obama is in, the roads will be paved with gold. So here I sit as a giant pessimist believing that the problems in Kenya will remain and my friends think I am a jerk for thinking these horrible thoughts. The worst thing is I wish I was kidding about the perceptions here but I am not.

Well like I said there is really not a whole lot going on. I played in a chess tournament this week and took 3rd. Which isn’t bad since 2 other guys from Daystar tied for 1st. So we took the top 3 spots which is pretty awesome. I hope that all is well and I will post something really exciting soon.


This is pretty funny.  A couple of weeks ago I posted about the perfect day.  The other day was just the opposite.  It is funny how even after a horrible day I was able to see Jesus in the process. 

    Allow me to explain how it all begun.  I will give a lot of information and hopefully I will explain it all so there are no questions.  Every Tuesday I have to go to Nairobi.  I am taking two classes from the Nairobi campus.  This is not necessarily a good or bad thing just more of an inconvenience.  So Tuesday I didn’t go to sleep till almost 2.  I awoke at 5 instead of 4:30 which was unfortunate.  I had just enough time to shower and run out the door.  I caught the 5:30 bus just in time.  This wasn’tthat bad I just felt really rushed.  No breakfast but life goes on.  My morning was normal nothing out of the ordinary happened.  I arrived at my first class.  My prof lectured for awhile and than handed out a take home exam (paper)  that we are supposed to write.  This is supposed to be between 5-10 pages.  This is on top of a 20 page paper that is due next week that I haven’t finished yet.  This weekend is going to be really difficult to work on this stuff because my friend is releasing a new cd on Saturday and I had promised I would go.  So by lunch I felt really overwhelmed.  I was supposed to have lunch with 2 of my friends and they had both canceled while I was in class.  This was a huge bummer.  I hung out by myself and got ready for my second class.  I had known that I had an exam in this class.  This is my statistics class.  I had felt like I was really prepared and I thought I could ace whatever my prof threw at me.  I had even spent a good amount of time studying.  I am not going to lie if I got 25 out of 40.  I will consider it a huge success.  That test was TOUGH!!!!  There were charts and graphs and mumbo jumbo.  I did not feel very confident walking out.  I just felt deflated.  I know that I have mentioned this before but I really hate the bus system.  It is something that just causes frustration.  I had purchased a bus pass so I would not have to deal with the headaches and hassles.  I went to get on the bus and the conductor wouldn’t let me on.  He said this was a staff bus.  I showed my bus pass and he still wouldn’t let me on.  After a brief argument I gave up.  (The bus pass is supposed to give me access to the staff bus that way I don’t have to wait for the student bus if there is not one readily available.  That is the whole reason I paid for it.)  The student finally showed up almost 45 minutes later.  So this is almost 6 p.m.  By this point I am pissed.  There is nothing worse than inefficient systems and not getting what I had paid for.  I have decided that these are the hardest things that I deal with on a daily basis.  So I am finally on the bus just ready to go home and chill.  An hour later the bus breaks down.  The guys are than requested to get off the bus and push.  So we pushed the bus for a short way and got back on the bus.  3 or 4 minutes later we push the bus again.  We than wait for 30 minutes for another bus to pick us up.  By the time we get back to school it is almost 8:15 p.m.  I have had a horrible day and I just want to get some dinner, take a shower, listen to some music, and just relax.  I had heard that 1 of the restaurants right near campus was making Mexican food.  (Mexican food may be one of the greatest things of all time)  I go to the cafe and I am told “I just ran out.  I see a plate of amazing fajitas and nachos go by and the guy is like that was the last one.  Had you come about 3 minutes ago I would have had some.  Sorry.”  At this point I am furious.  This is the first time this place has ever had Mexican food and I missed it.  I heard it was amazing though… which only made things worse.   My laptop has had some issues lately.  So I was having a friend work on it.  I went to his house to pick it up and he fixed the problems that were there but now there are all sorts of new ones.  YEAAHHH!!!!  He also told me that someone had come by and borrowed my plug so I cant plug my laptop in.  So I cant eat amazing food, I cant listen to music, let me go buy a coke, and take a shower than life will be ok.  I go to buy a coke and this chick whom I have met like twice blatantly propositions me.  This should be a good thing.  A hot girl saying she is interested that should be ok.  The way that it was done though made me feel dirty and cheap.  When I tried to explain that I was a virgin and wanted to stay that way till marriage she tried 1 last ditch effort.  I left the place without even buying my coke.  I go to my house and start drawing water for my nice cold bucket shower.  I start thinking to myself a shower will give me a little relief and life will be ok.  …  POWER GOES OUT!!!  All over campus power goes out.  I just gave up.  I was hating life and everything that could go wrong did.  Every way I had looked for comfort and well being was taken away.  I was supposed to hang out with one of my best friends here named Diana.  D is a Canadian.  She has been here for a year longer than I have.  She is pretty chill.  Kind of feisty and sarcastic but pretty chill.  I call her D because apparently saying her whole name is too difficult.  I sent her a text and said listen I hate life I am going to bed I will see you some other time.  Or something to that effect.  It was just before 9 o’clock.  This is the first time I have gone to bed at 9 o’clock by choice in a long long long time.  By 9:05 I was asleep. 

      KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!!  I look at my phone and the time is 9:20.  “Who is it?”  (I am sure this was a very friendly and polite tone.  Not SUPER PISSED AND ANGRY at all.)  (sarcasm inserted in previous text)  It turned out to be D.  This actually pissed me off even more.  I had told her I was going to bed why was she bothering me.  I got up and got dressed.  ( I didn’t think it was appropriate to answer the door in briefs… it would have been funny but inappropriate)  I open the door and D is like I made this for you.  I open it up and Peanut butter popcorn.  I am not going to lie it was FLAWLESS!!!  I took one bite and all of my anger, bitterness, and rage just disappeared.  D stayed for all of 30 seconds and took off.  I stood on my balcony looking into the courtyard and I swear Jesus talked to me.  He said how he had been there all day I just had been so busy looking at other things that I missed him.  I had looked everywhere else except for Jesus for comfort and not surprising I found none.  When I talked to D later about why she brought over the popcorn she said she felt obligated to make it and bring it over right away and not wait.  Peanut butter is really expensive here so it is somewhat of a sacrifice.  This seemingly small act of kindness changed my whole day.  It went from the worst day ever to a day that wasn’t that bad.  By the time I went back to bed at 3 I had felt like I had lived 2 separate days.  The first ended at 9:05 ish which was just a terrible day.  The second one begun at 9:20 ish and was alright.  God gave me what I needed and apparently it was peanut butter popcorn.  The really funny thing is I wouldn’t have appreciated nearly as much had it not been what preceded it.  I think that God likes to do funny things like that.  He takes you through a storm and gives you gloriousness.  I know that although I didn’t like the storm the gloriousness was worth it. 

     I hope this is encouraging.  Be blessed and I will talk to you soon.


   I just wanted to post a quick ending to a story that I started in the last blog.  This is the story about Amazing pranks.  I met with the girl on Friday.  I actually did not know who the girl was until Friday.  We met and talked about my AWESOMENESS.  She said that on Monday she thought there was something wrong.  On Tuesday she was slightly frustrated.  Wednesday and Thursday she was more than slightly fustrated and Friday morning she was beginning to see it has hillarious.  Apparently on Tuesday she received almost 120 text messages within 20 minutes.  My friends were sitting around the Dhall and they grabbed everyone’s phones who were close by.  FLAWLESS!!!!   The girl and I talked for like 30-40 minutes.  She did appreciate the joke but also made me promise to never do anything like that to her again.  This is funny.  This story is spreading through campus.  I have become infamous.  I have people I don’t even know coming up and telling me how funny it was.  Like I said in my last post it is really a difficult job being an evil genius but someone has to do it.  I still feel like I am the most qualified for the position.  So let me finish.  I pulled a beautiful joke, became famous (or infamous you choose), made myself laugh, and made a new friend.  All in all it was a great week.


I don’t even know where to start.  First I think it is customary to start with some form of greeting or opening line.  Hmm this is awkward I apparently seem to be all out of greetings and opening lines.  Oh well we will try to come back to that later.  Now looking back at my previous posts I should say something witty and humorous about the title.  I am not going to lie coming up with something witty and clever all the time is not easy.  I mean its not easy being ridiculously funny all the time.  There is all this pressure and expectations and stuff.  Its a hard job but I have never been one to walk away from a challenge so here I am.

I think that I will start in order.  Before I start I think I am going to give everyone a small Swa lesson.  That will really help with this story.  The word for no is hapana.  Lets count to 12. moja (1), mbili (2), tatu (3), nne (4), tano (5), sita (6), saba (7) nane (8) tisa (9) kumi (10) kumi na moja (11), kumi na mbili (12).  So you might ask why I am teaching you all how to count to 12 give me a little grace I will get there.  I am taking a Swa class at school.  So far it has all been review but really interesting.  I am starting to learn the grammar and such which will help a great deal.  The other day we were talking about time.  The word for time/clock/anything that might keep time is saa.  So the prof in swa was asking what time it was.  She had drawn a funny clock on the board.  The clock read 1 o’clock.  So when she asked me I am pretty confident.  I know my numbers add the word saa and I should be good to go.  So she points at 1 o’clock and asks the question.  I respond with saa moja.
Feeling amazing I wait for her response which I am sure is going to tell the class how brilliant I am.  She responds with Hapana.  HMM…. Awkward.  Than she points at 2 o’clock and lets me try again.  So again I speak out saa mbili.  Hapana.  Saa moja is 7 o’clock.  Saa mbili is 8 o’clock.  In Kenyan culture the clock is 6 hours off.  I am not going to lie I cant understand this at all.  So if I wanted to say 9 o’clock I would say saa tatu.  AWKWARD!!!!  I know that you are not supposed to say that something in culture is wrong.  You are supposed to say different without saying one way or another is right or wrong.  I am not going to lie when it comes to telling time.  Kenyans have it all backwards.  It doesn’t make any sense at all.  When I asked why it could not be explained.  So next time some one asks you what time it is respond with something 6 hours opposite and see how that works for you.  In the states people would think your a jerk, here people are grateful.  Im not going to lie Im still confused.

I know that when I wrote my lecturers think I’m nuts everyone just kind of shook their heads and said that seems valid.  Hmmm….  Thanks for the vote of confidence.  I was at this little cafe off campus.  This place is awesome.  It is run by an American who has lived in Kenya for the last 7 years.  All of the profits from the cafe go to help different orphanages and such.  Plus he serves tortilla chips and guac for like 70 cents.  AMAZING!!!!  Side note I never realized how amazing salsa was until I was away from it.  So I had just finished class and went to sit and have lunch.  He has these books that you can read while you are there.  One of them happens to be a Calvin and Hobbes book.  About 10 minutes later my food showed up.  Right about this time about 10 lecturers from campus came to have lunch as well.  They were sitting at a couple of tables next to me.  I continued reading and I started laughing so hard I was in tears.  I would read half of a comic and stop because I couldn’t see.  This proceeded for about 30 minutes.  My profs kept looking over like I was crazy.  I got to this whole section where Calvin had written contracts for his parents stating their inadequacies and I about died.  I had to put down the book and I decided to leave.  One of my profs called me over and asked if I was ok.  I was also asked if I had, had anything to drink.  I of course responded with only coca cola but Im ok.  I brought over the book so they could read it as well.  They did not find it nearly as amusing as I did and I’m pretty sure that they think I am off my rocker.  Who knows if I’m lucky they might try to come over to my house and give me an exorcism that might be fun.

I think this is funny.  Other people said that I’m evil.  Well like I have always said as long as you can say but funny after it makes it ok.  Your evil, but funny.  See how nice that is.  A week ago I was with a friend of mine and he got a text saying hey its really important can you come meet me over here.  Where the person is located is about 5-10 minutes away from where we are.  We head over because the text said it was important.  When we arrived we couldn’t find anyone who was acting like they needed to talk to Steve.  Steve didn’t have any credit so he used my phone to call and see where the person was.  The person said they were somewhere else so we journeyed that way also.  Again we cant find anyone so again he uses my phone.  The girl is laughing and says it was  a huge practical joke ha ha ha.  Steve and I are not quite as amused as the girl.  I send the girl a text saying hey you pranked Steve well done but you cost me 12 shillings (a little under .20) in the process and you have invoked my wrath.  That was over a week ago.  So I have been plotting and scheming and really deciding how to return the favor.  On our phones you can send this free text message that says “please call me”.  You are allowed to send 5 of these a day.  They are really irratating.  Your phone rings and you think you have a message but it is a Please call me.  DUMB!!!  A friend of mine received 5 of them in a row the other day.  She ranted and raved for a minute or two.  I started thinking what could be worse than 5 Please call mes?  EUREKA!!!  So I got 15-20 of my friends and told them of my master plan.  I wrote a schedule and distributed her number.  So what I have organized is that all of my friends send all of their Please call mes at the same time.  So yesterday was day 1.  This girl received 75-100 text messages within about 20 minutes.  This is going to continue till Friday.  I am going to tell the girl that I pulled the prank and take her out and buy a coke or something to apologize.  The best thing about this is everyday they will all send their texts at a different time.  Yesterday was 3:30 pm.  Today is 6 p.m.  Tomorrow is 12 noon.  Thursday is 8 p.m. and Friday is 8:30 a.m.  (Right before class)  I heard that this girl was like WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT is going on?  She started blaming safaricom for funny business.  She actually called customer care to see if there was a glitch in the system.  I know that this is slightly cruel, but she did cost me 12 shillings… so that makes it ok, right?  Its hard being an evil genius but somebody has to do it.  I just feel the most qualified for the job.

Well as you can all see I am doing well.  I having a lot of fun and really enjoying school.  I am about 1 month into my second year.  Everyday I see the greatness and the glory of God.  I will save some of those stories for a different post.  I hope everyone is well and I hope you enjoy my jokes.  Because I do.  I make myself laugh often.

Final side note.  To all the grammar nazis I really dont care enough to spend the time needed to appease your every whim.  That being said I just spell checked this document and every time I wrote the word book it showed up as spelled wrong.  So I again question this program and its accuracy.