Reflections on Cairo and on life….
So I have been trying to think about what to write for several weeks. I feel like I should post something for several reasons. 1. I would love to share about my experience. 2. People have been asking me and Im not really sure how to respond. 3. Im an extrovert and I dont process my emotions till I share them. So I hope you all enjoy this process.
So before I go into the hardcore processing I want to talk about some things that I saw in Egypt. I am always amazed by the process of sitting that takes place in Egypt and other African countries. What I mean by sitting is the willingness to just sit and be with someone. Here in the states we are overwhelmed by the business. I can never just sit and have a conversation with someone. There has to be some point. Ok lets go out for coffee. Or why dont you come over and play video games. The process of sitting and just being present is a very beautiful picture of how God interacts with us. God is always willing to just sit and be present with us. He doesnt need an excuse for fellowship. We are the ones that create the excuses. God Im going to be present this weekend at the conference but right now I have to work. God I have a million things to do so I will pray while Im washing my dishes, balancing my checkbook, checking my facebook, and watching the news. Wow that was a great time thanks Jesus. We as Americans have should desire the art of just sitting and being present and building community.
Some other things that I saw in Egypt were some miracles. I saw people getting healed, I saw demons get cast out, I saw hearts that were changed, and I saw people become restored. Had I seen just one of these amazing things that would have been an incredible testimony. I was reminded quite often of the greatness of God. I was also clearly reminded of his goodness and fullness. He wants his people to be restored and full healing to take place. I know that some people are going to argue with me on this point. That God may not want healing to take place otherwise it would. My thoughts on this are that God wants us all to live a full life. This is not the prosperity gospel saying that everyone is entitled to rivers of Gold and if they dont have it they dont have faith. (I disagree with this a great deal and will gladly debate this with anyone) What I am saying is that God is good and God is love, that being said he wants the best for us. When we were in our debrief in Mexico City they started talking about unforgiveness. They said unforgiveness is like a splinter in your heart. It festers and causes damage. Your heart will still be able to function but having the splinter in there is limiting its effectiveness. So as I searched my heart I saw all sorts of splinters that were just below the surface festering. As I prayed that God would remove those all sorts of bitterness and anger left me. It was the grossness that I was holding in the attempt to protect my heart. This is the kind of healing that I think Jesus wants for everyone. I think that God wants us all to have pure hearts. Hearts filled with love and not anger and strife.
So this was Cairo and Mexico City. What happens after that? Well experts say that when people leave their culture they experience culture shock. They also say that when you return you are faced with reverse culture shock. I will just say that so far I have not reentered well. Both times I have returned from overseas it has been UGLY!!! So when I reentered this time this what happened. I had 1 job that was doing technical support for Netflix. Netflix itself is just a normal corporation. Pretty decent. They pay well and treat their employees pretty well. (for the most part) I came back and freaked out that I was supporting an organization that did nothing but worry about whether people were entertained. I had a conversation with my boss where she said it seemed like I didnt care and that it was normal when returning to the real world. I started to explain that the real world was outside not in this happy little bubble that she lived in. I got frustrated with her that she didnt understand and I walked in and quit the next morning. My second job was at Best Buy. I was a digital camera salesperson. Promoting peoples greed and desire for wealth is sickening. Selling people stuff they dont need just because it is nice and shiny is not something that I believed in either. Needless to say within a week I had decided to end my employment with both places. I also left my home city to move back in with my family with the hope of spending some time with them before I leave again. I hope that everyone can see the Jesus that I see. I also pray that this be encouraging to some. If you think anything in this is good that is from Jesus. If you think it is junk that is from me and I will take ownership of that. Peace and blessings to all.